I was recently asked to contribute to a HuffPost article about something a lot of people are quietly wrestling with during the Olympics. You can read it here.
How do you root for Team USA while feeling deep frustration (or even disgust) with the U.S. government?
On the surface, it sounds like a debate about sports and politics. But psychologically, what’s happening here is something else entirely.
It’s cognitive dissonance. And because I know that the term is thrown around by people who have no idea what they’re talking about, let’s start with an operational definition.
Cognitive dissonance isn’t just “having mixed feelings.” It’s the psychological tension that shows up when two values you hold collide inside the same body. Or when what you’re doing doesn’t align neatly with what you believe. It happens when your beliefs about justice, integrity, or national identity don’t neatly line up with your emotional reactions in the moment. Your brain wants things to make sense. It wants alignment. It’s wired for consistency. And when it doesn’t get that, you feel it.
When it comes to national sporting events like the Olympics, that tension isn’t really about sports versus politics. That framing is too simplistic. The real conflict is pride versus protest.
National teams feel symbolic. Even people who don’t follow sports all year suddenly care deeply. It feels like these athletes represent us — our work ethic, our talent, our resilience. Like a projection of our collective identity. And when the government is projecting something entirely different about who we are, that’s where the internal friction begins.
It becomes difficult to chant “USA! USA!” while believing your government is behaving in ways that violate your values. You want to celebrate the discipline, sacrifice, and years of effort those athletes poured into their craft. And at the same time, you don’t want your enthusiasm to feel like endorsement of policies you find harmful.
That internal push-pull is not hypocrisy.
It’s dissonance… and it’s normal.
Is This Common?
Yes. Cognitive dissonance is far more common than people realize.
Most of us hold identities and values that do not align neatly all the time. You can feel genuine pride in your country’s people or culture while also feeling deep anger toward its systems. In fact, some would argue that critique is a form of patriotism — wanting your country to live up to its stated ideals.
But even if you believe that, the experience is still uncomfortable.
National sports amplify that discomfort because they wrap pride, identity, and symbolism together in one highly visible moment. The stakes feel emotional, not just recreational.
You are not strange for feeling conflicted. You’re thinking critically, like the complex human you are!
How It Shows Up in the Mind and Body
Cognitively, dissonance often sounds like internal negotiation.
You notice the back-and-forth in your thoughts:
“Why do I want them to win when I’m angry about what this country is doing?”
“I’m rooting for them, but…”
You might qualify your enthusiasm by mentally separating the athletes from the symbolism of the flag so you can stay engaged without feeling like you are endorsing or co-signing everything attached to it.
Physically, it can feel like emotional whiplash. Excitement and discomfort at the same time. A tightening in your chest. A flutter in your stomach that doesn’t quite feel like joy. Sometimes even the urge to turn the game off after a big moment because holding both pride and protest simultaneously feels like too much.
That experience isn’t rare.
What’s rare is actually having language for it.
Without language, people often interpret that tension as weakness or confusion. In reality, it’s simply what happens when you care deeply about more than one value at the same time.
What Resolution Actually Looks Like
Here’s where I push back a little on the cultural narrative.
Not every uncomfortable emotion needs to be turned into productivity. Resolution does not always mean action. Sometimes it means integration.
The first step is simply naming what’s true: “I feel proud of the athletes, and I feel angry at what this country is doing.” When you stop trying to eliminate one of those truths, your nervous system relaxes. You’re no longer fighting yourself.
From there, resolution can look like allowing complexity instead of trying to force simplicity. You can admire the discipline and sacrifice of athletes while strongly disagreeing with government policy. Those realities do not cancel each other out. Trying to force them to collapse into one “correct” feeling usually creates more distress.
For some people, differentiation helps. Recognizing that athletes are not the government. That respecting individual effort does not equal endorsing leadership. That is not denial. It is psychological precision.
And yes, sometimes resolution includes action. Advocacy. Conversation. Civic engagement. But that is a personal choice, not a requirement for emotional health. For others, resolution is quieter. It’s the internal shift of saying, “I can hold this tension without it running my life.”
That’s maturity.
A Note on the Athletes Who Spoke Up
When I watched interviews of Olympic athletes expressing love for their sport and pride in their work while also voicing discomfort with the political climate back home, I found myself thinking: this is exactly what healthy dissonance management looks like.
They acknowledged the tension. They named it. They did not pretend that the political context didn’t exist. And they didn’t allow it to dismantle their sense of purpose or overshadow their years of effort and dedication.
They demonstrated that you can honor human excellence without ignoring systemic realities.
That kind of nuance is not weakness. It’s integrity.
They were actual role models.
Did reading this stir something up for?
If this conversation resonates beyond the Olympics… if you find you’re noticing that same push-and-pull dynamic has been showing up in your career, your relationships, or the way you move through the world.
Please know that you don’t have to untangle it alone.
If you want focused, one-on-one space to sort through what’s actually happening underneath the surface, I am now offering limited $99 Clarity Calls. No pressure. No long-term commitment. Just focused space to get clear about what you actually need next.
Email me at: askablackpsych@gmail.com with “Clarity Call” in the subject line and I’ll share next steps.
And if what you really need is community. A space for Black women who understand all too well the push and pull between ambition and exhaustion, loyalty and boundaries, pride and protest… come join us inside The Black Girls’ Thrive Tribe.
It’s warm. It’s grounded. It’s real.
We are not performing strength over there.
We are choosing ourselves.
